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Pan Fam’ Email Conversation


A typical Pan Family / sibling (or “sibering,” in our sibling dialect) conversation:


From: Anna Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 2:40 PM
To: kong, mommy, daddy, jie

hello famiree.
this is just an update on what i’m doing this summer.
i’m working for three companies:
[…]

———-
From: Mike Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 7:47 PM
To: kong , mommy , jie , Anna Pan
Cc: mikepan@sbcglobal.net

My Sweet Daughter… Proud Of You… God Bless You… Your Lovely Dad

———-
From: Mark Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 7:50 PM
To: Anna Pan

green corps isn’t a company.

———-
From: Anna Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 8:52 PM
To: Mark Pan

you aren’t a company.

———-
From: Mark Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 8:53 PM
To: Anna Pan

you aren’t a toilet.

———-
From: Anna Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 8:55 PM
To: Mark Pan

you aren’t a cockroach.

———-
From: Mark Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 8:55 PM
To: Anna Pan

you are a cockroach.

———-
From: Anna Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 8:57 PM
To: Mark Pan

you are a puppet.

———-
From: Mark Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 8:59 PM
To: Anna Pan

you aren’t my sunshine.

———-
From: Anna Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 9:02 PM
To: Mark Pan

you are what you eat

———-
From: Mark Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 9:04 PM
To: Anna Pan

you can’t stop the beat.

———-
From: Anna Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 9:09 PM
To: Mark Pan

youtube.

———-
From: Mark Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 9:14 PM
To: Anna Pan

you are stuck carless in san francisco with your least favorite sibering, ann.

———-
From: Anna Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 9:21 PM
To: Mark Pan

you are stuck sibering-less at home with your least favorite parent

———-
From: Mark Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 9:24 PM
To: Anna Pan

you are going to be a parent soon.

———-
From: Anna Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 9:31 PM
To: Mark Pan

you are going to leave us from california because you are a traitor

———-
From: Mark Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 9:34 PM
To: Anna Pan

you are a fire hazard as a cook and will burn all stragglers

———-
From: Anna Pan
Date: Wed, May 25, 2011 at 10:22 PM
To: Mark Pan

you are going to teach some starving children in malaysia and they will get hungry and eat you

———-
From: Mark Pan
Date: Thu, May 26, 2011 at 7:18 PM
To: Anna Pan

you are too kind in complimenting my taste.

———-

The end. (As in the end of the email conversation. Not the end of my life having been eaten by starving children as my sister prophesized.)

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2 Comments

  1. ET
    Posted June 14, 2011 at 8:00 am | Permalink

    haha, pithiest inter-family email I’ve ever seen. my parents have never really gotten past “CALL US IF YOU GET THIS EMAIL SO WE KNOW IT SENT.”

    and by the way, insanely good layout.

    • Posted June 14, 2011 at 10:09 pm | Permalink

      thanks Emerson! your parents sound hilarious haha

One Trackback

  1. By Pan Fam’ Convo | Mark Pan on November 15, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    […] telephone). I’ll spare you the 100+ email threads (man I miss the UA) though. Continuing with the tradition of ridiculous emails, here are a couple of Pan Fam’ job-related email […]

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